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CelticAngel's Journal  Ok this was the weirdst two dreams I have had lately. The fact that they were happening simultaneously was bad. They were lucid dreams, which was good because I kept forcing myself to wake up and back off then could plunge back in for some more. Dream #1 I was staying at a house that was very old and moderately sized. It was on a huge plot of land, like 40 acres or more, with formal gardens and the whole bit. It was 2 storys, but kept growing. Very Rose Redish. Except it wasn't growing new wings and rooms, it was growing up from the earth. As it rose, windows would become apparent. It wasn't obvious that it was growing. It was like I'd walk around to the side of the house and there would be a row of windows, like those you see on split level houses, along the side. They were very grimy, so I bent down to wipe on of them clear. I could see dusty shapes in a long rectanglular room. It looked like a little classroom, with four old fashioned desks, like you'd see in a one room school house. The walls on the far side were lined with planting tables, like you'd see in a greenhouse. A little odd to be seeing in a basement, but there nonetheless. At first as I walked towards the back of the house, I could only see the top row of panes in the windows, but as I neared the middle of the wall, there were two rows visible. The panes were the type that could be opened individually with little handles. I pushed against one and it flipped open. The air smelled dark; like freshly turned earth and mushrooms. That rotting wood smell. Not bad, not stale, just dark. I continued down the side of the building and rounded the corner at the back. There was a sunken set of cement steps and an old door. There was a four paned window in the door and it was white, with flaking paint. I turned the rusted knob and entered the room. I didn't have a light with me, but it was dim enough from the light creeping in from the windows I could make out most of what was in the room. At the other end, there was an extremely bright light aimed my direction. It diffused out in a cone, like a flashlight laid on the floor would do. I could see things moving across the light, but couldn't make out more than shadows. I was getting creeped out by now. I have an issue with basements. I walked down the right side of the room, trailing my hand along one of the planting trays. There were rat skeletons on the floor and they crunched under my feet. I kept seeing a shape float across the light, blocking it out for a second or two at a time. I didn't know what it was, just that it seemed like it was wearing a cloak and it was floating, not running. There were probably six eight-foot tables lining each side of the room. When I reached the second table, I pulled back the tarp that was on it and was horrified to discover it covered a mummified body. I turned and ran back the way I had come, but the door I entered through was gone. The room ended in a dead end, but there was a new door to my left, so I ran through it. I entered a study of some sort with walls lined with books. It would have fit perfectly in some mansion somewhere. It was a small room though maybe 6x8. In the middle of the floor there was a mattress that took up most of the space. The blankets and sheets were rumpled and bloodstained. I passed through the room and entered the door directly across from me. I entered into an atrium with lots of plants and a wrought iron and glass topped table set with china for a breakfast. My land lord was there and told me what I needed was in the front of the house. I went out the back door and walked around to the front of the house. The house had sprouted a bell tower. Somehow I got up on the roof and started prying the wood slats off the front of the tower. Inside were two more mummified bodies, that of my great grandparents hanging from nooses in their wedding clothes. Um ok. Dream #2 This dream was even better. It started at the house I was previously at, but it was early fall and the house was being used for a college dormitory. More of a sorority house actually. A girl was walking up toward the house carrying a blue suitscae in one hand and a doll in the other. She had to have been between 18-19. As I looked at her staring up at the house, I got a flash back of her past. She was a little on the slow side and had an attachment to her dolls. Everything was ok in her world as long as she had her doll. She was ready for college, but terrified of it at the same time. She has issues. She walked inside and up the stairs. She finally got to her assigned room and entered it. She was sharing it with two stereotypical sorority bitches. All about the parties and the sex. The type that are nice to your face and make fun of you behind your back. The girl in her naivete believed they were her friends. They dressed her up and took her to a party at a frat house. While she was there she decided that she didn't like her dress, so she ripped off the sleeves and color and then one of the girls went off with her boytoy and she was left with the second girl. They ended up plotting the murder of the first girl and all these frat boys and the other girls in the dorm. By the time they got home from their party, the cops were waiting and there were bodies all over the house. I'm leaving a lot out of this one, but it's fading fast. Current mood:  weird.Current music: Anathema - The Silent Enigma. I had another fun/odd/disturbing dream last night. I'm not sure how it started, but I was in Flagstaff and I had to get from a house in East Flag to work, at Woodland Village. Guess I was working for Farmers again. At any rate, I was furious when I went to leave the house and couldn't get my car door unlocked. Being so frustrated, I just gave up on using the key, which was in my hand, and decided to walk. I was wearing a tan mini-skirt and white blouse, walking in tan pumps and no pantyhose. Not a good combination when walking up and down the hills in Flagstaff. I was also pushing a toy stroller with a cabbage patch doll in it. I knew it was a cabbage patch kid, but everyone else thought it was real. At any rate, I was walking down Butler Ave, but it was teeming when homeless people and native americans who were all sick or handicapped. It had the feeling of a drum circle though, except for people lying on each other moaning because they were in pain. People were forcing things in my face. Red silk scarves and jackets. All the objects were red. At one point, I had to cross a sidewalk that had one of my co-workers, Gary, laying across it. However, Gary was about the size of a 2 year old, with stumpy arms and baby legs, but his full size head and current face. Reminded me of baby herman from Roger Rabbit. He was looking up my skirt, but I couldn't get around him. So I stepped on him as I passed. I started running down the street and finally got to the corner of Milton and Butler. Instead of being 4 lanes wide, it was about 12. I had to get across it to get a bus, because I didn't want to walk to the rest of the way. I was cursing myself for having been so impatient with the car. So I pushed the stroller across the street and there were three bus stops within about a 10 foot area. I was so frustrated because I couldn't find the bus routes posted to see which bus I needed to take. Three buses had passed me and I was crying when this solid black school bus pulled up. The door opened and the driver asked me if I was getting on. I told him I needed to get to Woodland Village. He said he couldn't hear me and to get on the bus. So I shouted again, then walked onto the bus. The bus was full of teenagers who all looked like they wre juvenile deliquents. But it turned out they were a band. I don't remember much more than that. Just that the bus driver was trying to hit on me and I was mad because I was late to work, but I was having to fight against that nameless presence that seems to stalk me throughout my dreams. Current mood:  amused.
I had a dream last night that was quite fantastical if not a little upsetting. I don't remember exactly how it started but I was in the woods near Flagstaff. It was myself, Serephina (from the Elenium and the Tamuli), Plaid, Tene, and a few others that were more shadow than anything. There was a prophecy that said that I had to fight someone on a given day and one of us were destined to die, changing the fate of the survivor (duh) but not the world. It was all very vague. But I knew that the person I'd be fighting was someone that I loved, but hated at the same time. But at any rate, we were in these woods in Flagsatff, north of the city, by the peaks, but there was a lake there. There was a hunt going on for someone around us, and we were running from the hunters, though we were not the ones being hunted. We came to a clearing and James was there. He went to Serephina and asked for her blessing. I was furious and hurt and went to a cabin that had appeared on one side of the clearing. He told Serephina that he'd meet me at midnight and we would end it then. She agreed and came into the cabin. I made her tea and sat at her knees weeping for a few minutes, then began to prepare. I pulled out a long sword, a dagger, and a pike. I had limited armor, a breast plate at most. We met at the clearing in a full moon, and I began to cry again as we began to fight. He was so angry, he came at me in a fury. We fought for what seemed like ages until I finally realized that it was better that I die, so I stopped fighting and ran myself onto his blade. He was shocked and held me close as I was dying, but then there was an earthquake and he ran to help Serephina who had fallen under a tree. I woke up at that point. Don't really remember a whole lot from the dream other than a sense of loss and i was crying. I hate that. Current mood:  anxious.
My dreams last night were the most fucked up series of events I've experienced lately. It started off with James and I climbing trees then winding up in a car accident. He was in the hospital because he was sick though, not because of the accident. Both of my legs were broken and I was in a wheelchair again. Then my parents came down. We were in my house and there were drawer-fulls of mice and I was freaking out because they were reproducing in my tupperware. I set traps for them, but only 3 and my brother was laughing at me telling me there was no way I was going to be able to kill all these mice with 3 traps. I was so frustrated. Then it was Christmas and my parents and I were on our way somewhere, but mom said we had to stop somewhere first. We pull up to this house and I could see a man and a woman dressed as Santa and Mrs. Claus inside, but when I looked again, it was my parents. Then we went inside and my aunt and uncle were there with a few of my cousins and this little bitch that they were fostering in the dream. I don't know who this girl was but she was obnoxious and malicious. It was odd as we broke off into seperate rooms to open presents. I was wondering around the house trying to find anyone else and finally wound up laying down in the livingroom on a couch. But next thing I knew, there were like 4 people around me and laying behind and beside and on top of me. My aunt was sitting on the fireplace hearth holding a dildo and was trying to get me to use it. I ran away from the living room and into a room where my parents were having sex and I ran away from that and into a room where my brother and his wife were fucking. So again I ran. I ran out of the house and wound up back at the hospital. James was standing over me with an axe and said he was going to kill me because I tease and bother him so much and that he wasn't going to take it anymore. He started to swing the axe, but I woke up at that point. Current mood:  drained.Current music: Dido - Here With Me. I awoke this morning being pulled from ritual. That was disturbing. Moreso it was disturbing because the ritual doesn't even exist! I dream tlast night that I was at a I.O.R.G. convention and we were going through the "White" ritual. Again I tell you this doesn't exist. It was almost time for the ritual to begin and Mrs. Magness told me to go get the Cardinal to perform the ritual because if her daughter was going to be initiated, then it was going to be by someone high standing. I rolled my eyes and was thinking about what a snob Sarah already is. I walk into a ballroom full of girls in floor length formals, hoop skirts, hairpieces, and men in tuxedos, but also people in jeans and western style shirts. I myself was wearing my Grand Officers dress from when I was Grand American Flag Bearer. As I proceed through the room, I saw Ms. Magness twice. Both times she looked completely different. The first time she had short hair and the second time it was very long, but it was her, because I was confused as to a) how she could be here twice from different time periods and b) why she didn't go ask the Cardinal himself since she was there. I went up on the risers in the east and asked the Cardinal, though how I knew that's who he was is beyond me, to come perform the ritual. He was about 6/4, thin as a rail, and wearing blue jeans, a red checkered shirt, and boots. He followed me, but as we were wanding back to the room where this ritual was to take place he stopped and began telling a story to a group of 4 girls that were sitting on a bench. Something about the Goddess Diana I think? I continue on towards the Ritual Room, and realize that I'm wandering through my high school. At any rate I come to the room and there were about a dozen people inside, most of them having had something to do with my time in Rainbow. Michele Hester, Mr. and Mrs. Magness, Sarah M., Desi, Nettie, Tessa and Shannon, the Livingstons, and Mrs. Tate, as well as a few others from various assemblies around the state. I remember asking Mr. Magness how he was doing, as I hadn't seen him in years, and he told me not well. He was working outside and had had a heart attack. That made me very sad. The Cardinal finally appeared and we began the ritual. The thing is this was so not a Rainbow ritual. It began by casting a circle. I was being confused and upset though because it took 4 people to cast and everyone was moving counterclockwise but me, I was moving sunwise. They were all speaking in different languages as well. It was odd to see Michele there with a little silver dish of salt, sprinkling it about as she cast in some ancient language. At any rate, we finished casting the circle and the Cardinal began the meat of the ritual. However about 5 minutes into it, I was pulled out by my brother who wanted to go get pizza in North Hollywood? I was so angry that he pulled me out but we drove off in search of a parking place by this underground pizza parlor. I somehow got into this underground warehouse full of furniture and was in the process of turning around when this group of guys started running after us. I pulled out of the warehouse and went across the railroad tracks, (at this point it looks like we're in downtown Flagstaff again, but there is an underground parking beneath the tracks on San Francisco and Rte. 66) and pulled into the parking garage, where everyone who was at the ritual is meandering. The Cardinal pulled us aside and we went up to the park that's by the trainstation and started doing the ritual again, however at that point he pulled out what looked like a giant snowflake and the world went white, as in a snow storm. He touched it to my forehead,and then winter that surrounded us for that instant faded into spring, as I saw he held above me a lock of curly red hair, which he touched to Michele's forehead. That turned it into an oak leaf, and the world into fall. At that point I woke up. I definitely do not get where this dream was coming from or why it is that I do dream of Rainbow so often. *sigh* Maybe it's just that I miss those days and have a lot of unresolved issues from that time in my life? I don't know, anyone care to take a gander at analyzing this? Current mood:  confused.Current music: Dido - Thank You. I had a dream that could have been something straight out of the Simpson's last night. With yours truly playing the role of Homer. Doh! Anyway for some reason the U.S. had gone into a state of war. With who I don't know. But everyone had bomb shelters beneath their homes. All the houses that did had hazardous waste symbols on the front door and signs that said something along the lines of "maximum occupancy 12: No outside cars welcome. Please keep driving." So at any rate, we pulled into this neighborhood where everyone was already belowground and we were behind the houses and there were these pvc pipes that were about 4 feet high capped with rubber tops and pressure gauges. There was an announcement that there was a mistake and we aren't at war, so it was ok to come out from the shelters. Some general that was walking by and told me to start undoing those pressure caps when the pressure hit 200 psi and let them drain out. So I start letting the air out of a few of them, then he comes back and says that we are still in a state of war and to get the pressure on those tanks back up. So I seal them back up and then get yelled at by this other general for breaking the integrity of those seals. So I wander off to the side of one of the buildings and was crying and being upset that I had potentially hurt these people and James wanders up completely shell shocked and I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he was going to be a father, that there was a girl in one of the houses that I let the air out of. This made me cry harder. About this time this girl comes out carrying what looks like an East Indian version of Kermit the Frog with long black hair in pigtails about a foot long and purple fingernails. I was like this can't be your child, she's white, you're white, it's not. And he handed her to me and I immediately started crying, then she took her away. Was very odd, but then again, all of my dreams are. Current mood: amused.
Ugg bad reams last night. Dreams of war and violence and survival only to be awoken by a jet screaming overhead. Scared the crap out of me because they are never quite *that* loud and the fact that two helicopters followed within seconds after just made it worse. I'm going back to bed. Today is a day to sleep, not work. Current mood:  aggravated.
This is got to be one of the most fucked up dreams I've had yet. I'm not sure how it even started because it wasmore like 3 or 4 dreams that bled into each other. I think the actual beginning point was that my mom gave me a cell phone because I was going on a trip to the fair. It wasn't the statefair, but something hosted by Rainbow. It was in Flagstaff, but a Flagstaff that wasn't Flagstaff. At any rate barbles, sexyxxxvixen, mysticchyna, brennaj and myself ended up at the NAU campus. We parked behind what would have been the location of Riley, but was built more like Morton. There were hundreds of people around and barb and devon kind of disappeared into the crowd for a while. Brenna and I ended up getting working on getting some stuff out of the car and 'chyna was worried about how she was going to get home. She had to get to Ohio that night. I told her I'd take her as it would only be a 2 hour drive. So at last she and Brenna wandered off into the throng of people and I was talking to the guy who had parked next to us. He was moving into the dorm and had his hands full. The dorm was gated and a high rise outside. I remember helping him out geting the gate open and going in, but the dorm wasn't the new high rise that it looked like outside. Inside it was dark with a ton of winding narrow hallways, some were carpeted, some had institution green tile, and some had hardwood flooring. We wandered through the building and eventually ended up downstairs, in a restricted area. Opening heavy metal doors and sneaky past the security cameras. Somewhere along the way, I got seperated from the guy, but was still talking to him as if he were there. I wandered through endless corridors, being pursued by guards. I went down a ramp that neded at the foot of a stair case. The stair case reminded me of the narrow spiral stairs leading to the loft in theMethodist church on the corner, but it was sqare and there was a little old lady with a walker going up them. There was a banister in the middle separating the stairs, but the other half was blocked off so I couldn't pass her. I told her she was going the wrong way, that the staircase led up to the wine cellar on the second floor. She looked at me angrily, but she was weak too and afraid. I picked her up and carried her to the top of the stairs, which ended in an attic. The attack had rows and rows of bottled wine and a little window at the far end showed just enough moonlight to see by. Again there were no lights anywhere in the building. So I put her down and walked to the window. There was sliding panel in the wall next to it that I managed to trigger open and headed down another ramp. It went past windows that were about 4 feet long, and 2 feet high. Some of the rooms were empty. One of them had an iron lung in it, a child laying inside screaming to be let out. Another had a young boy going through shock treatments. Still others just were padded rooms with young adults about 14-20 years old sitting in corners crying. One per room. I must have passed by about thirty different rooms. Scenes of horror were in most of them. Finally reached the top of the ramp and the smell of frankincense hit me like a wave. There was an altar set up surrounded by red votive candles. I passed it by quickly and went up another staircase into a regular corridor. pawnshop was waiting for me there. He wanted to introduce me to some friends. I walked beside him in a daze not sure what was happening, but relieved to have found him.( We get a little more explicit here ) Current mood: crazy.
My dreams the last few nights haven't really been dreams as they have been barrages of images and words. I wish again that I could film my dreams. I woke up at one point this morning because the word "liveried" was floating in front of me and was so out of context with what I was dreaming. Lots of images of random acts of violence. A lot of screaming. But everything is set in such an odd context. Like the one that sticks out right now is me standing in a field of tall grass and wild irises screaming at someone across the other side, then without doing anything to them, but thinking that I want them to go away, they explode and the irises and grass are awash with blood, hot and coppery. I woke up after that one having bit my lip and tasting the blood. It disturbs me that I can't control my dreams right now but they in turn are controlling me. They leave me feeling more tired than when I went to sleep. Current mood: tired.
So I slept about 2 hours today. In the meantime, I had a crazy ass dream that I attacked sexyxxxvixen today. I was over at barbles and she wandered in then told me to take her to her uncle's house. By telling me what to do and not asking, I hit the roof. They walked outside and were headed down the sidewalk and I ran after her then tackled her and started pulling her around by her hair and scratching her face. I kind of realized what I was doing in the middle of doing it and started crying and apologizing to her. I was mortified. She was pissed. I got angry again then and started yelling at her that I was so angry with her because she was taking advantage of Barb and I and that she never asked us nicely for anything anymore, but just demanded it. And that I was mad she was sleeping around.*Giggle* This was a terrible dream to have. I love sexyxxxvixen to death and while I get a little frustrated with her sometimes, I could never imagine pummelling her the way I did. She doesn't take advantage of us and she's always so polite when she does need something. I think I knew what prompted the dream, but hehe it was still bad. I just find it amusing now though. Got my aggression out for the morning though I guess *shrug*
Current mood: amused.
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